one

i went through a rough patch this year where i was altogether way too concerned about social media. like. wayyy too concerned. i was always trying to document every coffee or every little adventure i went on. but in some ways it went beyond just ‘documenting’ the moments that were happening. it was destroying those moments as i felt the need to make them something that they weren’t. i was so focused on bringing other people into my little moment that i dismissed the moments that were happening right then and there. a little knock on my heart was God reminding me in little ways (that, for a bit, i mostly ignored) that he didn’t create me as a brand. he didn’t create me to be something to sell or marketable in any way. it wasn’t what made me valuable. it wasn’t what i was needed here for. he created me for growth and joy in Him. He loves us at our weakest moments, in our worst pictures and in our crazy laughter. i needed to remind myself that i wasn’t created for a highlight reel, i was created for every moment in-between.

so around three ish weeks ago i decided to delete all social media apps from my devices. seems pretty simple but i really tried to talk my way out of it for a while- it is a much needed break. its time to live my moments right now, no distractions or barriers from God knocking on my door to lead me somewhere new.

there is no way to plan when you are walking with God, no matter how much our human selves want that logical step by step run-through to know exactly how and when everything will work out. His love isn’t logical. It is reckless abandon and wild and stronger than the storms. it makes absolutely no sense if you want a logical reason. so i am teaching myself to breathe. to trust absolutely and know that God knows so much more about what will make me happy than my flawed human self. i need not be responsible for creating joy on my own, i am blessed with so much around me that i just need to acknowledge and be joyful with God.

there is wildness in God’s love, and i am only learning to love as easy as the Lord does.